Deresi: The Perfect Girlfriend
I often ask myself why the romance between Shadyia and Deresi works so well when they are so different. Shadyia takes everything seriously. Her perception of the world is very black-or-white; no grey. That’s my friend; that’s my enemy. I kill my enemy and protect my friend. She is quick to anger, slow to change, and is terrible at telling a lie. Deresi glides through life like a penguin sliding on ice. She is playful and mischievous, lies as easy as she breathes, and would rather avoid an enemy than confront them.
Opposites DON’T attract.
‘Opposites attract’ makes a great song with a cartoon cat, but doesn’t stand up to reality. Would the activist rebel really fall in love with the die-hard conservative? Would the adventurous athlete really want to spend all her time with the computer nerd? No. Yes many writers and—especially—Hollywood films insist on perpetuating this myth. Why? Because it demonstrates the awesome power of love, which is something we all want to believe in. Love knows no age or gender or personality or political/social alignment. Don’t we all adore the story of the prince who marries the common village girl and lifts her up to be the future queen? You want to make George RR Martin laugh out loud, ask him to put that “and they lived happily ever after” myth in his books between a member of nobility and a commoner. Medieval monarchs held onto their power by convincing the Great Unwashed that they had a divine right to rule, and that mixing royal blood with common blood would not only be poisonous to both, but against the will of God and would bring doom to the entire world.
Shadyia and Deresi aren’t opposites.
I prefer to think of them as Yin and Yang; they complete one another. Each has something the other not only lacks, but desperately needs in her life. Shadyia needs to learn to let it go. Deresi needs to learn that the world cannot be avoided. In Beneath the Silver Rose, Deresi had a moment of jealousy that was so foreign to her, it nearly shattered her love for Shadyia in those fragile beginning moments:
She slipped her arms around Deresi’s hips and drew her closer. “You asked me a question, and here is my answer. You’ve stayed by my side. When everyone else fled, you were there.”
Deresi tilted her head to the side as if to dismiss Shadyia’s words. “Anyone could do that.”
“Anyone could, but no one did.” She parted her lips and leaned for a kiss, but Deresi avoided her.
“It’s not enough,” Deresi said.
Her words gripped Shadyia’s heart in a blacksmith’s glove. If I don’t say it right, I may drive her away. She had to stay calm. Deresi just craved further assurance. Was she herself any different?
“There’s more,” Shadyia said. “I need you now more than ever. I need one thing in my life that will stay the same. I need someone I go to and feel safe, and I chose you.”
“You chose me? But why?”
Flowery quotes from books stuffed with poetry flooded her thoughts. Love is a single rose growing at the summit of a—Luun’s tits, just kill me now. She briefly closed her eyes. How could she make Deresi understand?
Just tell her the truth.
“Because you’re everything I wish I could be.”
There it is. Shadyia is like a camel carrying too much weight, as she knows it. She adores how Deresi can just unload and walk away from the terrible problems of this life. But that river does not flow just one direction. Deresi needs to learn how to stand her ground when the need arises. Running is not an always an option. We especially see this in Book #3 when she finally confronts Mareli. Would she have ever done that without knowing Shadyia in her life? Probably not.
No examination into the romance between Shadyia and Deresi is complete without talking about their love-making. The sex between them is fantastic! It’s not just volcanic orgasms (although there are plenty if those) it the way their deepest fears and passions are exposed. All the walls are lowered and all cards are on the table. There is no dominate and submissive in their love-making, but there is no absolute equality as well—which would be rather dull. They trade control; in one moment, Deresi takes the reins of their passion and Shadyia must yield to her games and devious nature. In the next moment, Shadyia is calling the shots and Deresi is along for the ride. There’s trust; absolute trust not to use the weaknesses they bare as a weapon to humiliate or manipulate. That trust is the core of their passion.
The Perfect Girlfriend
Deresi is the perfect girlfriend. She is playful, creative and joyful. She is a refinery for Shadyia’s raw passion and the best friend Shadyia could ever hope to have. But more than that, she keeps Shadyia from submitting to darkness and despair. As Friedrich Nietzsche famously said, Whoever fights monsters should [be careful] not become a monster. [If you] gaze long enough into an abyss, the abyss will gaze back into you. Shadyia has stared hard into the abyss, and it’s only Deresi’s love that keeps her from falling.
Imagine how tragic it would be, if that ever changed…
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